Monday, September 26, 2011

true:

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING.


I have been so hungry for others' parenting advice.  What do I do when Oak does this or that? What did you do? Did your kid do this?  What do I say?  How should I react?  What should my response be?  Are you sure it's just a season?  Yours grew out of it?  Oh, oak is just 11 months old?  This is normal?
THIS IS JUST A SEASON.


I have seen a lot of moms lean towards the "isn't he cute"/excuses side with their kids, and well...I don't like it.  So what do I do?...run in the opposite direction.
Analyzing and nit picking every move Oak makes and the way Greg and I parent, in fear that we aren't doing "it"(whatever that means!) right.  
DID YOU HEAR THAT, LAURA?!!! 
FEARRRR!!!!
sick.


And becasue of that fear, I have found myself not walking confidently as Oak's mom, but instead crumbling and questioning and asking way too much-
because I DONT WANT ANYONE TO THINK I THINK ITS OKAY.  


why do I think others would think that?  
Welp, because I've been that person.  
Judging others and their parenting. 
Oh man.  


so, whats the root? fear, what others think, and a judgmental heart.  
Lord, change my heart.  


Mom reminded me this weekend(as she does all the time), THERE IS A BALANCE WITH EVERYTHING.  
Well, I think I've missed that balance...in fear of being too sweet, or passive or blinded by cuteness, I've gone far to the other side of FEAR and nit picking every move.  Afraid that that tantrum is who he will be in 20 years.  what?!!!  Way too much LAW....not enough GRACE.

Oh how I want to instill GRACE and TRUTH into out childrens lives.
Because one without the other isn't balanced.
Lord, help me put this knowledge into action...


God reminded me this morning that out of all the women in the world, He chose ME to be Oaks mom.  AND (as I seek and ask and depend on Him) He will give me what I need daily, to be that mom.  

Whew. Now, the faith to believe that!  Lord, help me.  








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