Georgia Gray, 3 months.

i love you, gray.  I see more and more of Gods goodness through your life.  Just you being here.  I'm amazed.  Your smile speaks of the love of God and the goodness of God.

This month we went to your cousin Annies birthday party, we celebrated the day Willa was born one year ago, and then we got on your FIRST AIRPLANE to Colorado for ICON.  You did incredible, and mommy was a lot more calm with you than I was with Oaks first flight.  We got to spend 3 days playing at Winter Park resort as a family before ICON started.  You and I watched the boys do a lot of fun things. The week was great, it was amazing to see the greater picture of the movement that we are a part of through Antioch.  It was also fun seeing so many people and missionaries that we have heart about for so long.  But the week was also really hard for me.  We found out SK was miscarrying the baby we were rejoicing over just a couple weeks before.  This hit me hard and the enemy reared his head up at me with shame and guilt.  I felt guilty for having you.  One morning, it even felt like I couldnt hold you.  Through a lot of tears and hurt, I had to come to the place that I claimed that those were lies from the enemy and the Truth was YOU are wanted and loved.  YOU are a blessing.  YOU are a promise of God. A promise of the goodness of God in life and in death. And in the midst of all of this grieving and not understanding, walking around Winter Park, CO, I would look down at you and you would be smiling at me.  Not just a normal smile.  This smile that went right to my heart.  You were walking out who God said you were. What He had spoken over your life...A reminder of the goodness of God in death and in life.  You were reminding me of the goodness of Him.  That He is good.  I didn't understand willa. I didn't understand all of these babies that haven't lived.  But He spoke life over you, and He is good, and I am so so thankful.